In Memory of Kylie

Finding home in Kylie

I used to own cats in my childhood, but I had no idea how to take proper care of them. Therefore, when they went missing or became ill, I was baffled. After so many years, however, the urge to have a pet cat came back, and that's when Kylie walked into my life! I still remember the first time I saw her; she grabbed my fingers with her tiny paws when I put out a finger to let her smell me - it felt like such an instant connection!

At that moment, a part of me wanted to think it over before making a decision. And sure enough, I did to the point that I couldn't sleep a wink that night as I was reminded of those tiny paws reaching out to me! So the following day, I immediately went to get her.

From 2016 onwards, Kylie accompanied almost every step of mine, right from our humble abode through to our office spaces. In fact, she had seen more than most humans ever will, including a pooping accident on the carpet in one of our earliest meeting rooms in Kuantan, hahaha! Guess who got stuck cleaning after? Nevertheless, without fail, each day was always filled with enjoyment thanks to this furball by my side.

During my start-up year, it was like riding a roller coaster, driving on a bumpy road, going through ups and downs; Kylie has been witnessing everything. Even though I have no idea what was in her mind because sometimes she meows at me, asking to be petted, most of the time, she's sleeping. (I know, right?)

Crossing multiple continents with you

And... you know what? I even brought Kylie to Canada! It was my first experience; I never imagined being in a foreign country that needed a 24-hour flight (from Kuala Lumpur, transiting in Taiwan, and changing to another flight to Vancouver, and changing another to Calgary!) But I went to that faraway place with an accomplice, literally a CAT! Can you envision that?

But the long journey was smooth as Kylie was the lovely, adorable cat she always had been. She behaved well, as always. You'd never hear Kylie unnecessarily meowing all the time. She made noises only when she needed my (attention), which wasn't too often. It took her just a couple of hours to adapt to the new environment before she started contentedly enjoying herself running around the places we went in Canada every day, as if it were home back in Malaysia.

After almost 2 years of living happily there, we came back to Malaysia and moved to a new house. Kylie is like family, so coming back wasn't leaving any part of me behind since she would also be moving with us.

Sadly, everything began changing rapidly when Kylie started to become frail out of the sudden. She refused to move or even do anything. At first, I thought it was just a typical illness. So, I took her to the clinic, and she got better. But her condition returned not long after, and again we went to the clinic, and she improved. However, this cycle repeated itself several times.

Then, I found myself super busy when things started picking up again after the MCO was lifted and the economy began recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic effects. At that time, it hit me hard that I couldn't spend much time with Kylie, despite her having already gone through the "sick cycle" 5 to 6 times. Sometimes work obligations caused me to miss her medicine schedule, which made me feel awful. I wanted her to be warded because I couldn't stand watching her suffer and so she could get her medicine on time, but for some reason, I couldn't do that

The day I dreaded is here

After Kylie's condition worsened, I stumbled upon this cat hospital in PJ. It was similar to our general hospitals, with plenty of cases and teams of specialists. At first, Kylie was treated on a case-by-case basis, but after the fourth visit, the doctors grew suspicious regarding her condition. So they took something from her throat for biopsy - much to our distress, it uncovered active cancer cells! My heart plummeted when I heard that Kylie had lymphoma cancer and was already at Stage 4.

All I wanted then was an answer: how could I save her??? We then opted for chemotherapy treatment (Yeap, I know, right?!) Most of my friends are shocked when they hear about the “chemo” part!) - Can you imagine such a small creature having chemo?! What did she do wrong to be put through all this hardship? Nothing - merely being a little furry pet diagnosed with malignant growths that needed her to go through chemo...so what chance did such a tiny being have against these odds?

I was devastated, but I knew I had to do everything possible to save Kylie. After the first round of chemo, she responded well, and her chances of survival increased to 40%. So I let out a sigh of relief, giving me a glimmer of hope. So once the doctor determined Kylie was ready for the second session of chemo, we went ahead with it.

Unfortunately, this time, the results weren't as good. Kylie started reacting negatively to the side effects - she had cuts all over her body, and blood was constantly coming out of her nose and eyes. I witnessed how the sparkle from her once joyous eyes began fading away right before mine. Kylie's pair of eyes were now dull and lifeless.

She was in no condition to keep fighting, and I knew I couldn't let her suffer any longer. It wasn't fair to her, especially after everything she had been through.

Overcoming the impossible goodbye

As much as I wanted Kylie to stay with me and keep playing, I realised that it would be torture for her to continue living like this. So I decided the best thing I could do was to free her from all the pain. After much thought, I gathered the courage to tell the doctor I was finally ready to let her go. I told the doctors I was ready to let her rest in peace, but I couldn't cope with watching them put Kylie to sleep. So I gave her a last hug and kiss before telling her how I would miss her so much. As my fingers grazed over her fur, I could feel her body flinching as her organs started to fail.

Then, while trying to collect myself, I promised not to forget this moment; no other cat could take Kylie's place in my heart.

So I said my final goodbye and left the room, knowing that if I stayed any longer, the image would be seared into my memory forever. Standing outside, it felt like an eternity had passed before the doctor came to inform me that the procedure had been done. The second she said, "It's done", there came tears from this grown man as every moment shared with his furbaby rushed back in time. To think that never again will these beautiful moments come is truly devastating for all pet owners, something we yearn to never come our way. I had no other option but to finally accept what had happened to Kylie, who had been a part of me for a long time.

"Farewell, Kylie. Your presence has been a source of immense delight to me, and you will be missed forever," I whispered to myself.

To my fellow cat parents, I'm not here to alarm you but to offer up this story of mine with Kylie. I personally want this story to be here as a cherished reminder of how Kylie brought joy into my life and made me feel blessed while we were together. So please take this as a cue to make the most out of every precious moment spent with your beloved furry ones; they won't be around indefinitely, that much is certain!

To Kylie, I don't have a single regret, as I know I've done my utmost best for you. We spent so much time together going to countless play-dates at beautiful locations, delectable treats… You name it! And just like that…All these will remain embedded within me forevermore.

So I started to consult with different doctors to get second and third opinions. Yet, things quickly took an unfortunate turn - Kylie had been dosed with steroid meds for months, and we soon realised she was totally hooked! When the steroids ran low, her health would rapidly decline again. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I received the most dejecting news ever.